In this excerpt from her diary, Saint Faustina expresses a sense of the deeply intertwined feelings of uncertainty and desire that come from meditating upon the coming of the Lord. She also combines these feelings with a yearning for Jesus to not only come down to us but to take us up with him into the ‘heavenly places’, into the fullness of His divine life. This fullness, this deep encounter with and knowledge of God that was first introduced and at Bethlehem all those years ago, and which we grasp at through a cloud of unknowing now, walking by faith and not by sight, will one day be known by us in spirit and in truth.
During this season of Advent then, Saint Faustina’s words can be a useful reminder of and profound reflection upon this promise, but also a further reminder that this waiting for the Lord is not something limited to this time of year. The Lord can, and will, come like a thief in the night, and we must always be ready, always be waiting, always be desiring:
I do not know, O Lord, at what hour you will come.
And so I keep constant watch and listen
As your chosen bride.
Knowing that you like to come unexpected.
Yet a pure heart will sense you from afar, O Lord.
I wait for you, Lord, in calm and silence,
With great longing in my heart
And with invincible desire.
I feel that my love for you is changing into fire,
And that it will rise up to heaven like a flame at life’s end,
And then all my wishes will be fulfilled.
Come then at last, my most sweet Lord
And take my thirsting heart
There, to your home in the lofty regions of heaven,
Where your eternal life reigns everlasting.
Life on this earth is but an agony
Since my heart feels it is created for the heights.
The lowlands of this life hold no interest for it
For my homeland is in heaven – this I firmly believe.